John Oliver Says Paramount Buying Warner Bros. Is "Not Great News": "We might be getting a new business daddy! In fact, if I may quote anyone who’s ever accidentally sat on their Roku remote, I’m in Paramount now. How the f--k do I get out of here?"

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For example, some of my own guilty displeasures are opera, old movies, and poetry. I don’t hate any of those, but I like them far less than I want to admit when I’m not writing a blog post about guilty displeasures. I have been to operas, including the full cycle of Wagner’s Nibelungen. I have friends who have made me watch black and white movies from the Hollywood golden age. I used to write poems as a teenager, like all sensitive and nerdy young men. But quite frankly, I don’t feel that I need any of those things in my life. When my friend who conducts operas at the university invites me to one, I patiently wait for the singers to quit singing so I can properly enjoy the instrumental parts of the music. When I must watch old movies, I spend 25% of the time reading the Wikipedia summary to keep myself entertained. When I read a book or blog post that quotes something in verse, I literally just skip it and hope it wasn’t important to understand the rest.